I'm not saying I'm more insane than anyone else. I think we humans are insane by default. You don't have to look far to find the insanity. Think about it, even those who call themselves pacifists and say they are against violence, will most probably be beating themselves up about something, judging themselves, feeling guilty or ashamed of something, and that is violence to self. Violence is violence no matter who it's aimed at.
Oh wow, once again, I've gone off on one.
Back to the point, in general I consider myself to be someone who can rationalise my way out of negativity, because I realise that actually nothing going on outside me truly deeply matters. In the end the fact that I'm breathing and alive is the inexplicable gift. It's what matters. It's the magic. However, sometimes there are times when I am overcome with some kind of strange sadness for no apparent reason. I know I must not be the only one out there who finds that in such moments writing is a form of release, and often creativity comes easier.
And there are times when I'm not down but maybe in the back of my mind there is some kind of confusion, doubt, worry or niggling little pesky something that quietly natters away, not allowing me to fully enjoy just being. But whenever I sit down and write my novel - maybe particularly because of what it's about and the issues it deals with - it's like I am attending some kind of psychotherapy session. It is incredible to be your own therapist at times.
It's inevitable that we put something of ourselves into our writing (whether subtly or very obviously) and that's no bad thing. Imagination travels far, but it always stems from our experiences.
There's no doubt that many of us do find that writing helps us make sense of so many things. Sometimes it seems quite a beautiful thing to me that something we create eventually for a larger audience, is - at the time we create it - something that has the potential to change us. I guess that's why it is important to not try to be anything or anyone else but yourself (the voice that comes naturally) when you write. Otherwise you won't learn much from it, you'll find it hard and forced, and it's unlikely you'll enjoy it as much, and in the end your readers will pick up on it.
Maybe the extent of this so-called 'therapy' depends on what you're writing about. I don't know. But one thing's for sure, writing can definitely become a space to delve into yourself and life. Some people fear that, and some people find it quite therapeutic.
I wonder what all you Brit Writers readers and writers think?
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