It hurt my stomach to think of her, but
then I couldn't help but let myself remember what it felt like to move my hand
up her shirt, knowing she was conflicted but just couldn't seem to help
herself. God, I wanted that again. I ran my hands through my hair and gripped
it. But the main reason it was so exciting to be with her was because I wasn't
supposed to be. Now that she was officially 'separated' I told myself it would
just get boring anyway. But then I thought about her lips. I thought about
eating a glob of lip-gloss as a kid, because it smelled like fruit. I was so
disappointed when it tasted like wax. But Odette didn't disappoint. Her
lip-stuff looked and tasted like strawberries. I rubbed my finger across my
bottom lip, wistfully thinking of kissing her...everywhere. I smiled, drunk
with the memory. Then realization set in hard and I kicked a book off the edge
of my bed so it hit the wall and slammed to the floor...pages crumpling.
I opened the bedside table-fridge,
fished out and cracked open a beer. I put my hand behind my head and I
relaxed on my pillow again, lifting my head periodically to take sips. Maybe I
would call Melissa. She was hot and could probably get my mind off Odette. I
had about 3 pictures of her under my bed that I had drawn. She liked to model
naked for me. I made her look good, left out the flaws which seemed to get her
in the mood when I showed her the finished product. I smirked to myself. That
was my only motivation for drawing.
And I guess it was a little bit mean
(but more funny) when "Naked Stranger". I gave Odette a naked picture of
Melissa, telling her this was the model in my art class. She didn't
question me for a second and even admired my work. I wished now that I would
have asked if I could draw her then. How deluxe it would be to have that
picture now, and the option of scanning and emailing it to her husband. I
grinned at the thought of Chris's face. That would be awesome.
The branches moved and I watched
flowers separate from them into the Fall evening air. I was suddenly angry at myself
for that opportunity...for not drawing Odette
while she might have let me. Granted though, she had always been in a hurry to
get the hell out of here. I wondered if there was a way I could still get her
to do it. But when it hit me again that any reconciliation with her was out of
the question, it hurt my stomach worse than anything. Damn, I had fucked things
up so badly that I was completely out of options with her. I gulped
at my beer. I can't stick a flower back on a branch. But I'm a smart guy, I can
figure something out with Odette...
My mind drifted to possibilities again.
Maybe if I went over there to her house and saw her... No, she would just kick
me out, get really mad. The only way I could get her to care about me was if
she was worried about me for some reason. She had that whole nurturing thing
going on that was pretty easy to manipulate. I figured I would think about it
for a few days, so that if I did decide to nudge her back into my favor, my
plan would be smooth and flawless. This was good. The pending option relaxed me
enough so that I could put my beer down, open up my text book and study
again...even breathe in the apricot blossoms without my brain constantly
drifting to her body against mine. I blinked away the image of her naked and
read out loud, "Proteins are polymer chains made of amino acids linked
together by peptide bonds."
By Emmerson Hayes
The Unofficial 'Brit Writers and Writers Everywhere' blog.
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ReplyDeleteI was confused at first then I realized it was being written in a male's voice. Once I figured that out I really enjoyed the post. Is this a part of a bigger story?
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