There is nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so - Maia Walczak

Dear January, thanks for that disgusting fever you gave me right when the new year began and how you made it drag out for days...that was real nice! Especially considering I'm currently the busiest I've ever been and can't really afford to take all these days off. Shut up. Stop complaining. I mean seriously "can't afford to take days off"?! What do I mean by that?! No time for time off? What am I rushing towards anyway? My death bed? I really don't know. It's such a widespread human disease to always be in rush mode. What are we rushing towards?

Back to the point. January. We're only 2 weeks in and despite my body's reluctance to fully recover from the spluttering and sniffing I FEEL GOOD! Apart from the fact it's January, the days are short, and my long time lover, the sunshine, has been gone for months...even so...I FEEL GOOD GOOD GOOD! Good yes wonderful good! 

Why?

Why not?

I'm currently intensively flat hunting, whilst simultaneously learning to drive for my test next week (yes, I've left learning to drive a little late perhaps) and am also working (at least for the next couple of months) on a book illustration project with a very tight deadline. You can now understand how being ill was not at all useful for me. It made all my deadlines draw closer whilst I lay powerless and helpless in bed, unable to work towards any of them. 

But it's OK. In fact it's all more than OK. I'm getting a wage for my current work...I'm getting paid to work in the field of work I love. I may have to return to something like cafe work after it, but I'm not complaining either way. 2012 saw me finish the first draft of my first novel. That's exciting. At the beginning of this month, during a bout of insomnia, I came up with the story for my next children's picture book...2013 watch this space! I have people who support and encourage me, including people I've never met, like those who interact on my Facebook and Twitter pages...it seems maybe silly to say it, but really those people inspire me so much to continue doing what I do...if only they knew just how much! I've just released my first children's picture Ebook. I have great people in my life. I have a roof over my head. My belly's full.

So although it's always so easy to find something - or maybe many things! - to complain about (especially in winter, since I definitely think I suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder) I do have a lot to be grateful for right now. So thanks January.

But actually maybe it's really not all about listing, summing up and comparing all the good and the bad to try to decide whether "I'm OK". Maybe, like in the wise words of Shakespeare, "there is nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so." Maybe none of that above list is relevant when it comes to happiness. Does my happiness and emotional stability really need to depend on all these constantly changing outside conditions? OK. I'll shut up. I know what's happening here, I'm about to go off on a trail of philosophical musing. I think it suffices to say that one of the realest reasons as to why I've been feeling so good lately is that I discovered a new tune that I really love, and I can't stop dancing to it in my room like an idiot, or an over excited child. Yeah. I do stuff like that. 

But seriously. Maybe it really is about taking time out to be like that kid again, the one who doesn't give a shit about goals and 'serious grown up stuff' and who sees that there is really no point in rushing. Because what's the big rush for anyway?

by Maia Walczack

Brit Writers

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