Anna Jefferson, a personal dilemma...

When does a blogger call it a day? 

I am founder and Co-Director of Broken Leg Theatre and Creative Learning Manager for New Writing South. I am also Nancy's mum, and that's what this blog is about. And all the other bits as well I guess. But mainly being Nancy's mum. And how life has changed since she came into our world.

I'm a 33 year old writer, mainly of plays, but a year ago I started blogging about becoming a parent, after having my first child, Nancy, You can take her home now

Don't worry, I'm not going to whip out a picture of her dressed as a monkey, then bang on about the pros and cons of massaging your perineum.

I started it because I wanted a record of what being with her was like. Something for her to read when she was older. And for me, a reminder of how quickly things would change.
 I was a bit nervous to be honest, when I first made it public. Partly because I hadn't spared any details about the discomfort of going for a wee after having an episiotomy, but also because I didn't want to bore people half to death with kids anecdotes. It's up there with hearing about other people's dreams.

But people started reading it.

It wasn't an overnight Fifty Shades of Grey success, although some of those stories about having my bits checked by the health visitor were pretty racy, but people did start reading it.
 Friends, to start with, then my mum’s mates, who told their mates, and so on. And now I see when I look at the stats, that every Sunday, when I publish the next post, there's about 200 people who have a read in the evening. Including a large minority in Russia, randomly enough.

Now. I don't know if that's loads, or a pitiful amount, but that's not the point. The point is, I started getting feedback from women about their experiences as mums. Confessional stuff. Not the 'my child's brill' chat. More, I struggled to bottle feed; I felt like I had no mates at times, I blagged it at work for the first year until I got more than 5 hours sleep. That kind of stuff.
And I, in turn, felt a sense of responsibility not to bullshit when writing about life since Nancy. As they had put their trust in me not to do so.

But now I'm in a dilemma.

When I started writing You can take herhome now... it was only going to be for a year. This was a new mum blog, not a diary of my life. And I thought of publishing it. A year with Nancy. Nice and neat.

But my daughter is about to turn one in two weeks time, and I don't know whether I'm ready to give it up.

My worry is, when do I stop? When she starts school? Will I be blogging about her going on a date with her first boyfriend? Her first day at university? Her first child?
It’s just; it's taken on a life of its own. I'm not going to whinge about sleep deprivation, as that is coming up the rear after the dream chat, but it is difficult to find the time to write, and write well when you have small children.

I naively had big plans to write my next play while on maternity leave. Whereas in reality, I congratulated myself for getting us out of the house to the local shop for a pint of milk during the first few months. My other achievement was developing a massive crush on someone in One Tree Hill, who was about 15 years younger than me, as it coincided with Nancy's morning feed.

But the blog became a structure. And hearing about other people’s experiences gave me a voice. I don't want it to become self indulgent, or for me to lose sight of why I started writing it in the first place. It's become an important part of my life, and a small part of other peoples, and I'm not sure if I'm ready to give that up yet. 

Anna will be a regular contributor on the Brit Writers blog : )