***
I must be a real masochist. Somewhere in the depths of my soul, in the core of my very being, lurks a distressing tendency towards ritualistic self-abuse by forcing myself to undergo more of these article-writing sessions in the company of one or more of my own characters. I am convinced this tendency will see me branded insane before I'm very much older and locked away in an asylum, nevermore to see the light of day.
Oh well. Such is life.
***
Cy: You really got a way with words, don't you?
Well, I thought it would be more interesting to read than 'Hello, this is an article which talks about character creation'. I mean, how many times do you think they've read that, or words to that effect?
Cy: I'm surprised any of them came back after Kata's behaviour in Part One.
Yes. Well. This is Cy. He's taken over from Kata for the time being. Fingers crossed he'll be a little more amenable and keep sarcastic comments to himself.
Cy: Pff. Duh-ream on. I'm still amazed they published Part One at all.
Give it a break, would you? Don't mind him, he's just grouchy because he had to work twenty four hours straight with nothing more than a pot of ramen and two cups of coffee.
Cy: Yeah? When was that?
Soon. Very, very soon, unless you promise not to turn this into a battle of wits like Kata did.
Cy: Alright, fine. No battles of wits.
Thank you.
Cy: I always thought it was dishonourable to fight an unarmed opponent anyway.
Make that thirty six hours. And no ramen.
Cy: Fine by me. I hate the stuff.
Actually, Cy just demonstrated another point with character creation.
Cy: That some of us hate ramen?
You don't hate ramen; you're just saying that to sound big and tough. No, the point I was talking about was that it's not a good idea to make a character too smart-mouthed.
Cy: There's no such thing.
Oh trust me, Cy, there is. Unless you're aiming for pure obnoxiousness, try not to make every answer a smart-alec one.
Cy: Pff. I do alright with it.
That doesn't mean people don't want to punch you in the mouth, Cy, it just means they're too scared to.
Cy: Hey, whatever works.
How many times have you been in an argument with someone, only to come up with the perfect comeback/retort hours after the event? Unlike reality, which sadly has no rewind button, when writing you have all the time in the world and can even go back to change it if you think of something better.
All well and good. But how many times have you met someone in real life who's determined to score points at every chance, and who always has to have the last word no matter how childish it may seem? Did you like that person? Or did you find them irritating at best and at worst, want to punch them in the face?
Cy: You know, you really should talk to someone about this deep-seated aggression you seem to have.
I rest my case. The point is that a reader will usually look on the character in the same way. If you have a protagonist who's constantly sniping and putting people down just because they think it's 'cool', most readers will be turned off before the end of the first chapter.
Cy: Turned off. Heh heh.
The same goes for turning everything into an innuendo, Cy.
Cy: Thus you yourself taught me.
Cut out the Dune quotes; I can't afford a lawsuit. Can't you say something a little more original?
Cy: Saha'st karu. Di'kasa karu-e saha'st mi, di'mo est. Attrek mi di'mo karu-e saha.
Well, I had intended to create a separate article to deal with fictional languages, but since you've dropped into one, I may as well touch on how to use it with characters.
In a word, carefully. Exotic languages can really help to enrich the story's world, particularly in sci-fi/fantasy settings.
Cy: I thought you wanted to focus more on typical, everyday characters.
You're the one who started babbling in Saturnian. Now shut up and sit down.
Cy: Guess this is another article that's about to veer wa-a-ay off topic, thanks to Jude's short attention span. Beats me how she manages to concentrate long enough for basic day-to-day living, never mind writing novels and articles.
Don't make me take your monkey away, Cy. Anyway, as I was saying, exotic language is something which can at best enhance a story, and at worst break it completely. If the reader can't understand it, they're likely to just skim right over it and get to the bit they can understand. That doesn't mean you shouldn't make an effort, just that you shouldn't belabour the point. Try not to put it in just for the sake of impressing people.
Cy: See what I mean? This article is already shaping up to be less about characters and more about setting.
I'm working on it! The rest of the language thing can be saved for the appropriate article. I'll just finish up by saying that if you have two characters speaking a made-up language, generally it's better to state that they're speaking in…uh…
Cy: Saturnian.
Alright, for the sake of argument, yes. It's better to tell the reader that the characters are speaking Saturnian, and then go on to write in English.
Cy: Form that into a coherent sentence and then get back to us, Jude.
I'll do better than that; I'll give you an example:
A and B were standing outside a cinema on Hyperion.
Cy: Hyperion doesn't have a cinema, just a swimming pool.
Okay, fine. A and B were standing outside the swimming pool on Hyperion.
Cy: Actually, it's more of a giant water park than an actual pool.
A and B were standing outside the giant water park on Hyperion. A turned to B and said, "A, gia'mi pikai kolynik!"
B scratched his head and said, "S'eme batli ker. Pas eme m'pai nom-e?"
A grinned. "M'idra. Pirta eo ksek."
B grinned back. "Me dik-thika…"
Cy: If that's the standard of your writing, Jude, I don't think the other authors have much to worry about.
I know. This was just a quick example to illustrate the language thing. It's not meant to be award-winning. Like the earlier example; say it again, Cy.
Cy: Saha'st karu. Di'kasa karu-e saha'st mi, di'mo est. Attrek mi di'mo karu-e saha.
Exactly. For all the reader knows, this could be a death threat. It could be something vital, like a warning of danger ahead.
Cy: What, like Watch Out For The Giant Scorpion? That kinda thing?
That's the idea, Cy. What did all that mean, anyway?
Cy: "The fish is blue. The blue fish is not yours, it is mine. Do not touch my blue fish."
Well, alright, so sometimes it's not that important. But the point is that with a fictional language, the reader has no idea what's just been said. A and B may have been talking about a secret plot they'd discovered, and wondering how they would ever get anyone to believe them.
Cy: Except they weren't.
No, they weren't. Let's look at it again.
Cy: Do we have to?
Stick with me; it's almost over.
A and B were standing outside the giant water park on Hyperion. A turned to B and said in Saturnian, "Hey, let's go swimming!"
B scratched his head and said, "But we're broke. How're we gonna get in?"
A grinned. "No problem. I know where there's a back entrance."
B grinned back. "Well, in that case…"
Cy: I think my brain just shut down.
Cy, what did I say earlier about obnoxious and smart-alec comments?
Cy: You mean you weren't listening either? Anyway, you veered off on other topics and then started prattling some nonsense or other about blue fish—
That was you, not me. But you're right; we better do a quick recap.
First of all, using excessive one-liners and smart-alec ripostes doesn't make a character cool or popular; it makes him/her obnoxious (then again, that could be the effect you're going for. In which case, go for it and have fun)! If you want a character with a rapier wit, it pays to balance it out. Instead of other characters being in awe of them, does their mouth keep getting them into trouble? Maybe they have a knack for misjudging the situation and making smart remarks that, while funny, are inappropriate at that point; like, for example, a character who cracks one of the 'Three men die in a car crash' jokes to someone without realising that he/she just lost his/her father in such a manner.
This doesn't mean that you should create a character that never delivers a sharp put-down, just that you should try and make them one who knows when to deliver and when not, and who also gets it wrong occasionally.
Cy: Aren't you worried this is getting a little simplistic? Most people already know this, surely?
If it was that bad, people would have stopped before they got to this point and they wouldn't have read it.
Cy: How do you know they didn't?
I don't. But who cares? I had fun writing this article.
Cy: Di'mo kavi ter di'kasa oro'st.
Cy! Saturnian profanity still counts, you know.
Although putting in fictional languages without any translation or other way for the reader to understand what was said is usually another no-no, I'm going to pass on translating that last comment.
Cy: I'd be happy to.
Yes, I'm sure you would. I, on the other hand, would like to keep my E-rating for as long as possible, so I'll just tell people that you were talking about the articles and not the readers.
Cy: I guess if you banned Kata from saying the N-word last article, kavi was too much to hope for.
Exactly. Which brings us to the other part about fictional languages: sometimes it's okay to leave them untranslated. If you're writing from the perspective of a character hearing it spoken or reading it for the first time, or if it's unimportant or the reader is able to guess at it from context (like the name of a food, for example).
Cy: Or if you just got the cat to walk across the keyboard and used the result as a fictional language with no idea of what it actually means.
That's setting construction, Cy, and a completely different set of articles.
Cy: Well, nobody would know from the way you keep dancing from one topic to the other. Can I take a lunch break now?
Yeah, okay. Don't be too long though; I need you to work on that scene on Proteus. Hopefully that'll give me time to find a bleeper machine for the next part…
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