You don’t want to be with a douche now, do you? by Khushboo Choudhry

We live in a world, where we have our own universes. Someone’s family is their universe whereas for someone else, their books are their universe. Every time I hear a person say “you’re my world” makes me wonder if they cause ‘global warming’ for that person like they do to earth. Knowing the meaning and sense behind words, is not what most people grasp usually. 

Every man, woman and child has taken birth with their own hopes, dreams, quirks and bad energy. To categorize someone as bad or good only depends on how you see the person.

The above paragraph is a vague collection of words I put together. I want to talk about love. I was surfing the internet where I stumbled upon various blogs and websites for people who have suffered heartbreaks and these sites were giving advice on how to move on. So what exactly is moving on? Is it forgetting the person completely? I don’t think so, the memory of a person we know or have known always remains in our head. Judging by how much our brain can hold, this memory would be like a drop in the ocean. Is moving on falling in love with another person so you forget the previous one? No. All those men/women you date will just morph into a blip on the radar, when you find the person you want to be on a hospital bed with, cancer-ridden but dying together. This is the moment you realize the true meaning of the word “universe”. We all are human.

There are times when I hate being a human being instead wishing I was a bird in the sky or a dog just running about playfully or a T-Rex from back in the days, with my mojo on, scaring every little disgusting creature (this is how I would think if I was T-Rex). But what do I do? I was born like this, a woman, and now I can’t change it. Men think women are so complicated and think too much. But let me state one simple fact, we are smart enough to save you from slipping on a banana peel and landing on a whole lot of cow dung, face-first, every time. Coming back to what I was talking about (men are just really distracting) love is not easy. To develop this particular feeling, you need to be hell bent crazy. Bordering on retardation. We love it! The skipping heartbeats, the dizziness, the insomnia, the bathroom-singing, all the works; it’s just brilliant.  You don’t need to starve when you’re in love, you will grow fat anyway. 

Everything will seem like summer. How else do you think people survive the deadly winters in Russsia? Mmhmm, you guessed it right. Every song will remind you of your beloved, even if it’s hip-hop. The best part is, you get someone to cuddle with 24/7, now how cool is that. You have your own personal stuffed toy, kisser and blanket. Then when you start moving ahead with your relationship, you start mellowing down with these feelings. I believe true love is when you still have skipping heartbeats with the same person even when you’re 85 (I sincerely hope it’s not skipping too much, otherwise you just have plain cardiac arrhythmia), even if you’ve got cataract you see that person in their full glory.

To take care of a relationship is like taking care of a baby. You have to feed it all the time, take care of it when it starts bawling in the middle of the night, play with it. When it starts growing, you give it space to move around, be stupid and not say a word. Eventually you keep it just close to your heart and let it do its magic. This magic will lead to you both dying together even if it wasn’t time for one of you.  There will be a million instances when your baby (relationship) will need to be spanked on its bottom very hard but at the end of it, you know it will behave. Don’t break each other’s trust at all, it will never become straight ever again. If you say till death do us part, mean it. Never lie. You can just not bring up some topic if you know you will have to lie about it, but always be truthful. Your other half will be your life’s support system when the world turns against you. Trust me, you will never need the world when you have him/her. Never hate the person for their quirks and the silly things they do or say, isn’t that what you loved about them in the first place? Go crazy in love, pull out all stops, get your other half to go as crazy with you. This will make your life fulfilling if not your job or money. People stay poor their whole lives with the person they love. They have everything, money is but a commodity, that’s all.

Make your life worth living, and never compromise. If you feel you’re with the wrong person, shove them away. You know you deserve better, wait for it, it will come to you. 

Oh and girls, always trust your guts and the red flags that you see. They help you out so much in the long run.  You don’t want to be with a douche now, do you?

by Khushboo Choudhry

The Unofficial 'Brit Writers and Writers Everywhere' blog.